Plankton's Master Plan
by Bubalubagus
Summary: Plankton's family extends a long way


Mr. Krabs was sitting in his office, a bunch of money wrapped around his dick as he jerked off to a bigger pile of money "Oooh yeah, that's it baby." he said as he came all over the money "Ah, I love this song, nothing I like to listen to more when pumping the ol' salamander. Beep boop boop bop boop boop beep." he sang to himself, little did he know that plankton took advantage of this moment to steal the secret formula. Plankton created his ultimate weapon, a laser beam that could deconstruct matter, he shot it at the safe and blew it open, just as he was about to steal the secret formula Krabs turned around and smacked plakton out of the air with his giant penis. His dick was so large he didn't even feel it when he hit plankton, in fact he didn't even notice he was there, he hit him by accident. Defeated, Plankton crawled back to the Chum Bucket "So how did it go?" asked Planktons soulless bitch wife "How the fuck do you think it went you dumb bitch! Just look at me! I got fucking **destroyed**!" "Hmm, well maybe if you weren't such a spineless pussy all the time you would have beaten Krabs by now." said Karen "Unlike you he's a real man, always taking initiative." "And unlike you he's a real living being with a mind of his own. You're a fucking machine! How dare you speak to me like that! You can't do _anything_ , seriously, I have to sit around and play with my dick all day because my wife doesn't even have a vagina! You have failed me as my wife in every way imaginable! I can't believe I married a computer, I should have bought a vacuum cleaner instead. If you want Krabs you can go have him, good riddance! Since he's a "Real Man" it should balance out how much of a "Fake Woman" you are!" Karen was stunned, Plankton had always been rude but _this_ took the cake. She only talked about Krab's so Plankton would man up, she didn't really mean any of the things she said, but Plankton went overboard. "Today was the last fucking straw! From now on, no more fucking around! This is my life and I will be **damned to** _ **hell**_ if I'm going to waste it in this shithole restaurant with my fake wife!" Plankton got on the phone and dialed a number, "Hello F.F., do you think you could do your cousin a favor?" He said "Good, come to the chum bucket as soon as you can!" Plankton hung up the phone "Yes this is perfect! Mwahahahaha!" Krabs was once again lotioning up his huge junk for another fap session, and as his mind drifted to pleasurable thoughts of money, he remembered something that had been bothering him, plankton hadn't tried to steal the secret formula in weeks 'He must be up to something' thought Krabs as he busted all over his desk. He got up and walked over to grab his jizz napkin, he wiped off his cum and was getting dressed when the whole room started shaking, pieces of the ceiling broke off and Krabs rushed outside to see what was going on "Squidward! What's happening? Is it plankton?!" He asked in a panic "No Mr. Krabs, your daughter just took a step that's all." Mr. Krabs looked up to see his gargantuan literal whale of a daughter standing at the door "Oh fishpaste, I can feel my wallet getting lighter already, damn kids are like stds, they are everywhere and you can't get rid of them" said Krabs as he approached Pearl "Hi daddy! Can I get a gumball from the candy store?" she asked "No" said Mr. Krabs and they both went back to their business "Great, now I have to pay for this ceiling." he said. Back at the chum bucket Plankton was eagerly awaiting the arrival of his cousin "This is my greatest plan yet! I should have done this from the start!" he said. As he paced the chum bucket floors, a shadow appeared over him, blocking out the sun, a huge foot landed in front of him. Plankton looked up to see an enormous colony of plankton that had assembled into the form of a human girl "All right cuz, who I gotta fuck up!" yelled the woman "F.F.! Long time no see! I need you to destroy the Krusty Krab, be careful though, there is something inside that I need to get!" yelled Plankton in response. Spongebob was sitting in the Krusty Krab, somehow managing to flip burgers and give himself a pedicure at the same time, if only he washed his hands after touching his grimy feet. "Spongebob, one Jr. Krabby Patty, plain" said Squidward "Plain?" asked Spongebob "Yes you barnacle brain that's what I said isn't it?" answered Squidward "Why deny yourself the deliciousness of a Krabby Patty with toppings?" asked Spongebob "Well first of all, I don't think any amount of toppings could ever make that greaseball taste good." said Squidward "Secondly, WHY DO YOU CARE? JUST MAKE THE FOOD SPONGEBOB THAT'S YOUR _JOB_!" "Sorry squidward, I just wanted to know why someone would order such a disgusting burger." said Spongebob "Well if it will shut you up, the customer said that it's too spicy with the toppings on." said squidward "Jesus what a cracker!" said Spongebob who finished the order "I bet his wife is cheating on him with a black man" said Spongebob who handed the burger to squidward "Spongebob, I will slit the throat of your firstborn son with a broken bottle of liquor. I have been pushed to far do _not_ _ **fucking**_ test me right now!" Squidward took the burger and went to deliver it. Just then patrick busted down the door "THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!" he screamed, everybody went into a panic and ran out of the Krusty Krab, each one stepping on squidward on their way out. It seems no cartoon physics were capable of saving squidward this time as Patrick walked past his bleeding, broken corpse "Hah! Just kidding, I just wanted to get rid of the line." said Patrick "Heya Pat! What can I get you, thanks for getting rid of that pompous edgelord squidward by the way." said Spongebob "No problem buddy, I'll have one Krabby Patty!" just then the roof was torn off. "AAAAAAH!" screamed Patrick "No it can't be, laqad han allah! Nooo! I'm sorry, yrja qabul li fi malik al mamlaka, I know I have led a shameful life, I will turn from my sin! I will sacrifice Spongebob to appease you your lordship!" Patrick put on a turban and ran as fast as he could toward spongebob, which was actually incredibly fast, even for an athlete, "Fi asm allah yamut!" he screamed with bloodlust, but he was unable to attack spongebob. The God above fired some black gunk from it's finger and it landed in patricks mouth, shooting into his stomach. It was one of F.F.'s plankton bullets, Patrick gagged and gargled as the shot rapidly expanded and burst patricks body open completely annihilating him."Patrick? No way! There's no way! Noooo!" cried Spongebob, unable to grasp the reality of his friends demise, his happy life in bikini bottom had left him too sheltered for the horrors of the real world. Spongebob just ran for his life, screaming at the top of his lungs. F.F. looked into the exposed interior of the Krusty Krab 'I got the pink one, but the yellow one looks like he's running away. That just leaves the red one, who is masturbating, gross.' Thought F.F. as she examined the situation, she was about to shoot and kill Krabs as well when she was suddenly sent flying "AH! What happened?" she said, looking for her attacker, she saw Jotaro kujo wearing scuba gear riding on the back of a dolphin "I won't allow you to damage this beautiful underwater ecosystem anymore!" yelled Jotaro "Come on Jotaro, it's probably better off not existing. I mean look at that disgusting Krab masturbate!" said F.F. pointing to Krabs who was _still_ jerking it. Krabs came everywhere "Ah, looks like those lima bean smoothies are finally paying off. My load is huge!" he said, he looked around and saw F.F. and Jotaro watching him "Stop watching me faggots!" he said and got up to cleanup his mess again "You have a point" said Jotaro "But their lives still have value. And besides, I have never seen an animal society so advanced before, we cannot afford to destroy it, science has so much to gain from this!" said Jotaro, trying to reason with F.F. "I don't give a shit" said F.F. nonchalantly as she shot krabs who also exploded, entrails and blood drifting through the water. "STAR PLATINUM, ZA WARUDO!" yelled Jotaro "Time has stopped, Yare Yare Daze, F.F. you truly are the lowest scum in history." Jotaro took a deep breath "ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!" cried Star Platinum as he delivered countless punches to F.F.'s frozen body "ORRRAAH" he said as he dealt an extra powerful uppercut, then delivered a flurry of more body blows "ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA! Time moves once again." F.F.'s body was crushed and pulverized by the sudden force of a thousand blows received at once. Fortunately for F.F. punches don't hurt her that much, so she recovered almost instantly, she fired some plankton bullets at Jotaro, but Star Platinum was able to block them with nearby debris. They both realized that their fight was going nowhere and they were going to call it a draw, but at that moment Sandy Cheeks came out of nowhere with Larry the lobster riding on a large can of expired peas that had been blown open, launching it all the way here. Sandy and Larry both jumped off of the can which crashed into F.F., it dealt no damage since it was just a can of expired peas. Sandy and Larry land on F.F. and start punching her with the might of Zeus, or so it might have seemed to them, but to F.F. she barely noticed they were there. They started hitting her eyes, finally managing to hurt her. She tried to get them off of her, but Jotaro took advantage of that moment to try and find a new way to kill F.F. Plankton came out of the Chum Bucket just in time to save F.F., he brought his ultimate weapon, a laser beam that can deconstruct and reconstruct matter. He zaps sandy and Larry with it and they splatter into blood, their blood pooled together and mixed, then Plankton zapped it again and Sandy and Larry were reverted to their original state… almost. When they were reconstructed they fused together into some freaky abomination. "Ahh, god please just kill me!" cried Sarry the Squabster "It doesn't look like I can do anything anymore, but Spongebob is coming, and he will kill you!" "Pfft, whatever" said F.F., but spongebob arrived just in time to see his friends meet their fate."No! First Patrick, and now Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and larry too? This has to be a nightmare!" he said "Nope, it's real." said F.F. "Spongebob…" said Sarry the Squabster "Did, you.. Retrieve the artifact?" "Sandy? Larry! Oh god how could this have happened? I found it, the requiem arrow!" answered Spongebob "Good…" those were Sarry the Squabsters final words, for they died immediately afterward. "What? Where did he get that?" asked F.F., "It was given to me.. By doodlebob." said spongebob. Holding on to the hopes and dreams of the citizens of bikini bottom, spongebob pierced himself with the arrow, activating his stand, Ocean Man Requiem. Spongebob could now control the water as he pleased, he crushed Jotaro instantly under rapidly increased water pressure, and he sucked all of the moisture out of F.F.'s body, without water the plankton all died, F.F. remembered what Spongebob said about getting the arrow from doodlebob "DAMN YOU ROHAN!" she said, realizing it must have been his doing, and then died. Spongebob deactivated his stand, his friends were avenged, but at what cost? These questions continued to plague spongebob for the rest of his life, he was satisfied in the end that he was able to make a difference and he found peace through decades of spiritual training. Spongebob would die at the age of 126 on the top of Mt. Nebulon, and he was buried with the other monks who had made it to that place.

Oh yeah plankton stole the formula too. But for some reason even after selling Krabby Patties in the place of the Krusty Krab he was never able to find true happiness.


End file.
